partner yoga

Research has long suggested that having friends benefits both sexes. One study found that men and women with the most friends (as compared with other study subjects) had a 60 percent reduced likelihood of dying over the course of nine years. But for women, who manage stress differently than men, the benefits of friendship extend even further. A landmark study conducted at UCLA in 2000 challenged “fight or flight” as the only stress response for both genders. Researchers Shelley E. Taylor, Ph.D., and Laura Cousino Klein, Ph.D., discovered that females had an additional reaction they labeled “tend and befriend” — making friendship of paramount importance to women as they cope with stress. 

Taylor and Klein noted that when women are under stress, our bodies release the hormone oxytocin (the “mother-love hormone” that plays a role in childbirth and nursing), which encourages us to gather children close and band with other women for protection and support. Tending and befriending encourages the release of even more oxytocin, bringing about further calming. Men release oxytocin, too, but the additional testosterone they produce under stress decreases its effects. This may explain why, when things go wrong, your male companions may want to watch the game or take a walk by themselves (thus dealing with the emotion internally, “fleeing” to solitude), while you want to call everyone you know and “talk about it” from every possible angle. 

adapted from Body + Soul, May 2006

Meditation tools for wellness